TEACHER: Why are you late? Johnny Martin: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? Johnny Martin: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow.

" - TEACHER: Johnny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor? JOHNNY: You told me to do it without using tables! - TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? JOHNNY: "HIJKLMNO"!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? JOHNNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O! - TEACHER: Johnny, go to the map and find North America.

JOHNNY: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: Johnny! -- TEACHER: Johnny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

JOHNNY: Me! --- TEACHER: Johnny, why do you always get so dirty? JOHNNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. -- JOHNNY: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? JOHNNY: Your name on this report card. --- TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? JOHNNY: Don't bite any.

- TEACHER: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I". JOHNNY: I is... TEACHER: No, Johnny. Alwayss