Try these tricks and pranks, only if you are sure you can run away unscathed from the irritated victims, waiting to gobble everything off the table on Thanksgiving Day: When everything is in the middle of the meal on Thanksgiving Day, say loudly, "I knew it! None of you have still noticed that the turkey was six months past its expiry date!" While everyone thank the Lord for their very own blessings, just say "I'm thankful I didn't get caught!" Heave a sigh of relief and keep mum.

Toss your portion of the rich and creamy Thanksgiving stuff into the blender and prepare the new 'Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake' that you heard about on T.

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Request everybody to listen patiently to a special Thanksgiving speech that you have prepared before eating. Then proceed on to give your several hour-long speech.

Call a 'special' friend on Thanksgiving Day who wouldn't stop narrating the sufferings of turkeys in the poultry farms and tales of their tragic and abusive conditions.

Photos add the punch. FROM THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this year ! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Thought for the Day Our mothers know us best, but love us anyway. Today's Quickie A third grade teacher getting to know her new students asks one girl, "What does your Daddy do?" The girl replied, "Whatever Mommy tells him.

" Just Wondering Would bowling be an Olympic sport if the shoes weren't so ugly? Thought for the Day The best cure for a cough is a large dose of laxative.

Today's Quickie What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick! Quote of the Day "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early." --Charles Lamb Just Wondering Why is it that when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible? In November 2005, a Christian group tried to boycott Wal-Mart after employees were told to say "Happy Holidays" in place of "Merry Christmas" and an employee who complained about it got fired. I ate too much Turkey, I ate too much corn, I ate too much pudding and pie. I'm stuffed up with muffins and too much stuffin' I'm probably going to die.

I piled up my plate and I ate and I ate. But I wish I had known when to stop, For I'm so crammed with yams, sauces, gravies, and jams That my buttons are starting to pop! I'm full of tomatoes and french fried potatoes This salad is good for a refreshing light lunch My stomach is swollen and sore, But there's still some dessert so I guess it won't hurt if I eat just a little bit more!