NOTIFICATION TO ALL STAFF REGARDING OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE AT WORK It has been brought to our attention that certain individuals have been using foul language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from some members of staff who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. However, we do realize the importance of KEY STAFF being able to express themselves when communicating with lesser mortals, with this in mind, the Human Resources Department has compiled a list of words in current usage and suggested alternatives. This will hopefully assist with the proper exchange of Ideas and information needed to run a successful enterprise such as ours.

OLD PHRASE NEW PHRASE No F**king Way Im fairly sure thats not feasible Youre Full of Shite Really, is that a fact? Tell some-one who gives a F**k I dont think that decision affects me No Bastard told Me I wasnt involved in that project I dont have F**king time May I delegate this task? Who F**king Cares Are you sure thats a problem Eat Shit and Die You dont say? Eat Shit and Die, C**t You dont say? Sir. Useless C**t SO. You DO need my help You Havent A F**king Clue. Have You? You could use some more training This Place is F**ked Were a little disorganized today What sort of F**kwit are you? Youre new here, arent you? For F**ks Sake Youre my boss, I respect your wisdom Just F**K OFF Ill look into it, and get back to you F**k Off A******e I no longer require your assistance How the F**k did you get that to work? Well Done What a Waste of F**king Space you are. You were unfortunate there. Ive F**ked Up I appear to have made an error Ive F**ked Up Again This task is beyond my scope Youre a F**king Lying Bastard You may have Misquoted that one.

Youre talking out of your Arse You have got your facts mixed up Get to Work you Idle Bastards Is your time being utilized to its fullest? How F**king Long Do You Need? I realize craftsmanship takes time May we suggest that all staff start practicing these phrases ASAP. Spot checks will be conducted over the next several weeks to ensure compliance. Thank You All in anticipation of your adherence to this new Company directive, now, is your time being utilized to its fullest? Management