A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde.

He immediately turns to her and makes his move.

"You know, " he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk." The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know, " says the guy.

"How about nuclear power?" "OK, " says the blonde.

"That could be an interesting topic.

But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff--grass.

Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?" The guy is dumbfounded.

Finally ! he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea.

" "So tell me, " says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?" A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards." The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is ..

an auto parts store?" "No, " the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon." "Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, "What are the beans for Blondie?" She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!" FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN! You are suffering form what is technically known as an Electra Complex, " the psychiatrist is informing his blonde female patient. "In other words, you are in love with your father." The blonde breaks down into hysterical sobbing. "Now, now, " comforts the shrink. "It's not all that bad." "Yes..snif...yes, it is, " gets out the blonde between sobs. "I have no chance at all...

he's a married man!" Q: Why do blondes have square boobs? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? A: Tits go in front.