A Dinner Conversation that went Wrong WIFE: "What would you do if i died? Would you get married again?" HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" WIFE: :Why not - don't you like being married?" HUSBAND: "Of course I do." WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again." WIFE: "You would? with a hurtful look on her face." HUSBAND: makes audible groan. WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?" WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers? HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do." WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?" HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed.

" WIFE: ......

silence........ HUSBAND: "Shit." There are at least six types of ORGASM of a WOMAN: The Optimist: Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes........

The Pessimist: Oh No, Oh No, Oh No......... The Confused: Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, ..... The Traveler: Ahhh, I'm Coming, I'm coming..

The Religious: Oh God, Oh God.............

The User: Ahhhhh, More, More, More.......... What Every Man Needs to Know Questions: 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 250 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? 4. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? 5.

WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? 6.

HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? 7. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? Answers: 1. Because they are plugged into a genius 2.

They don't have enough time 3. Because they don't stop to ask directions 4. so they won't hump women's legs at c**ktail parties 5. You need a rough draft before you make the final copy 6.

Don't know ...

it never happened 7. Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn