If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: 1.

I hate shots.

2. It's coming back up. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.

If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you. If she buys you a drink, she likes you. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence. Screaming, "Someone buy me a drink!" has never worked.

The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, "I'm an idiot." If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.