Jake is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much?" Hooker replies, "It starts at 500 for a hand-job." Jake says, "500 dollars! For a hand-job! No hand-job is worth that kind of money!" The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?" "Yes." "Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?" "Yes." "And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?" "Yes." "Well, " says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth 500.

" Jake says, "What the hell? I'll give it a try." They retire to a nearby motel.

A short time later, Jake is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime worth every bit of 500. He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a b**w *** is 1, 000?" The hooker replies, "1, 500.

" "1, 500? No b**w *** could be worth that". The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a b**w *** that's worth every cent of 1, 500." The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, says, "Sign me up." Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can't believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, "How much for some p***y?" The hooker says, "Come over here to the window. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?" "Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?" "No, " the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a p***y."