THE GRIEVANCE I the p***s, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons 1 I do physical labour 2 I work at great depths 3 I plunge head first into everything I do 4 I do not get weekends or public holidays off 5 I work in a damp environment 6 I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation 7 I work in high temperatures My work exposes me to contagious diseases! Dear P***s, After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration reject for the following reasons A You do not work 8 hours straight You fall asleep after a brief work periods C You do not always follow the orders of the managements team D You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations E You do not take initiative, you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working F You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift G You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing H You will retire well before you are 65 You are unable to work double shifts J You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task K And if that were not all, you have been constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags GRIEVANCE DENIED Sincerely, The Management