Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations she keeps cranking out. AVERAGE: Not too bright.

EXCEPTIONALLY WELL-QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date.

ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily. ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law. UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement. QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors. TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited. TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPERTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors. INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors.

STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: A real jerk. TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut. APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job. A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused. NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to college. EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together.

SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life.

CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared.

METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker. DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice. JUDGMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky. MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE: A snob.

KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes. STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES: Stubborn. GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE: A coward. SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE: Stupid. OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION: Turns in work on time.

IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL: Wanted by no one else. ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS: An office gossip. REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT: Lazy and hardheaded. HARD WORKER: Usually does it the hard way. ENJOYS JOB: Needs more to do.

HAPPY: Paid too much. WELL-ORGANIZED: Does too much busywork. COMPETENT: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps. CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN: Pain in the ass. WILL GO FAR: Relative of management.

SHOULD GO FAR: Please. USES TIME EFFECTIVELY: Clock watcher. VERY CREATIVE: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work. USES RESOURSES WELL: Delegates everything. DESERVES PROMOTION: Create new title to make him feel appreciated.