There was this one time I went down to Indiana to visit some friends. I go into this bar, and, surprize surprize, there's a horse, an actual horse, in a stall, in the middle of the bar.

I figure, "ahh well, we're not in Michigan anymore, at least it's not a clydesdale..." I get to the bar and ask the bartenter what the deal is with the horse, and he says, "well, it used to be one of the greatest racing horses around, till it lost a few weeks ago. It's never been the same since.

It used to do tricks and stuf, but now it's just too bummed out to do anything at all!" "I bet I can make it do somthing, " I say, and the Bartender comes back at me with, "If you can make that dang horse do somthing, I'll give you free drinks for the night, he's was our main attraction!" Well, I walk up to the horse and whisper somthing in it's ear, and walk away. A few seconds later, it just starts laughing I guess it took a second for it to realize what I said.

The bartender asks, "hey, how'd you do that?" as he serves me my first drink... "Old family secret, " is all I tell him. The next day, I walk into the same bar.

The horse sees me, and just starts laughing again! And I mean rolling on the floor, knocking over tables, and chasing out customers. Even some of the regulars won't come in, but the bar where I am seems to be the safest place. The bartender asks me, "hey man, I need to get that thing to stop goin' nuts, it's driving out all the customers!" "Whattaya say to another bet ole' man?" I ask him, and he just nods and says, "anything, just get that thing to calm down.

" Well, I get over to the horse, and I ask everybody to leave. They, do, and by the time I come out, the horse is crying in it's stall, shaking it's head in shame, looking like it just lost it's race again.

The bartender asks me, " hey, I gotta knoe what you did to that thing." so I decided to tell him the family secret.

"The first time I talked to him, " I said, " I told him my d**k was bigger then his.

The second time, I showed him.

"