A guy goes out drinking after work one day with his buddy. After a few drinks, he throws up on himself. "My wife is going to kill me. I wasn't supposed to be drinking tonight".

His buddy tells him, "Just put a 20 bill in your pocket and tell your wife that someone at the bar threw up on you and gave you 20 for your cleaning bill." They have a few more drinks and are REALLY plastered. When he gets home, his wife lights into him. "I told you not to go drinking, blah blah blah." He cuts her off, "Shu don unnerstan, let me esplain. A guy ash da bar shrew up on me and ga' me 20 dollars to pay for sha cleanin." His wife reaches in his pocket and pulls out the money. "There's 40 dollars here" she says. "Oh yeah, he shit in my pants too!"